Don't spend too much time wrapping kids' presents - they will undo your perfection in less than 10 minutes.
Forget the expensive $15 toy for the dog - chewed to bits in minutes, all for the two balls inside. Most expensive tennis balls, ever.
Beware grandparents carrying very large presents.
Don't go cold turkey on medication 3 days before the big day.
Start the festivities off with a shot of good Tequila.
Never trust drunken relatives to take your dog out, and bring him back in.
Always be prepared for somebody to say something stupid.
Put cards containing money away before the wrapping paper starts flying. Or, don't put anything in the outside trash before everything is accounted for.
Feed the dog before sitting down to dinner.
Don't let drunk people do your dishes.
Find a good hiding place. For yourself.
Seek out the fun people.
Keep smiling. Somebody, somewhere is having a worse day than you.
Next year will be even better.