How?
Start a heated
discussion with a family member in a room full of people who aren’t family.
Those close to us know that my mom and I are very close. I’m
sure my stepdad still shudders at the memory of those screaming matches heated discussions we had in my teen
years. It was ugly. But – I understand that these are a right of passage for
teenage girls and their mothers. (I can’t
wait to be on the receiving end in
the next few years.) I won’t bore you with messy details of the past, but
suffice it to say there were more than a few moments my mom pulled out the
suitcases and offered to pack for me. To be fair, I often used the old, tired
threat of - I’m going to go live with my dad!
So, I was in the restaurant kitchen a couple of nights ago. A
close friend of the family was hanging out with us as I made chocolate mousse, and
Andy (the chef) and my mom were prepping for dinner service. I happened to
mention something to my mom about some plans Todd and I had made, and
apparently the timing was bad or something and mom got all snotty about it.
Meanwhile, a server had entered the kitchen to gather things
for the dining room, and family friend was standing by. Ordinarily one to avoid
conflict, even with my mom in my middle age, I turned around and started
spewing my complaints about not being able to please everyone, and how (essentially) I was being pulled in many
different directions by everyone who had their own needs as well. I may have raised my voice. A little.
Okay, maybe a lot.
When I was done, mom spoke calmly to me – kind of like one
might do to a bear that suddenly appeared on your patio – and suddenly I
noticed family friend rapidly retreating through the kitchen door. And then I
looked around and noticed no one else
but my mom, her blue eyes meeting mine with that look of pity/kindness one
gives to a mental patient. The restaurant kitchen, normally quite loud during
operations, was dead quiet…and no sign of Andy either. Just a pot of something savory
quietly simmering on the stove.
Feeling suddenly like a complete jerk, I went about silently
cleaning up my work area and people started slowly filtering back into the kitchen.
Mom offered to cook me something for dinner – to which I said, no – I’m not hungry (total lie) and, you don’t need to be cooking for me.
Still looking at me like I might snap again, she said – But I love cooking for you. It’s what I love to do. Still feeling
obstinate I said, you’re not going to
poison it, are you? What??! Where the hell did THAT come from? How did 16-year-old
Tara get in here??
Andy, who had returned to his post behind the line (restaurant
talk for where the food gets prepared), continued to work quietly as if he were
deaf and mute. Family friend never came back – instead opting to start drinking
out at the bar.
To make a short story shorter – all’s well that ends well. We
all went back to our normal lives.
But – the holidays are here – and they’re filled with
emotions and frustrations and old family feuds and love, all rolled into a
tight little dysfunctional ball. If you find yourself surrounded by family and
friends alike, and you want them all to go away fast – pick a fight with
someone. Unless your family loves a good fight – then that might not be such a
good idea – like two brothers who really don’t get along – I don’t recommend they
throw a banana peel at each other (true
story). The cops don’t really enjoy breaking up physical altercations
between families. At least I don’t think they do. And mom won’t be particularly
happy when her priceless antique lamp gets broken (hypothetically speaking, of
course).
My method worked quite well, I think. Even if I had to
regress some 30 years to accomplish an unplanned goal (and thus, more fodder
for the blog mill).
No comments:
Post a Comment