It’s been a
while since I wrote a “Things Learned” post.
Most of these are no surprise, and certainly not “news,” but they recently
became glaringly obvious again.
School teachers get happier and happier
as the school year draws to a close. Conversely, parents’ faces seem to get
longer. I’ve been at the school a lot as
we near the end, and I felt this cloud moving over me as the staff smiled these
Cheshire cat grins and threw out a perky good
morning! Parents, however, smile
somberly at one another – because we all know what chaos awaits.
There are two sides to every story. As I previously blogged, on the field
trip to Annapolis I had nearly a 2-hour conversation with another mom about
dogs, kids, Maryland colleges, and divorce. We commiserated a bit, by way of
female conversation really, but in retrospect she didn’t really go into
details. Last week at the Heroes Tea, I got an up-close view of
the Dad side of this divorce. Father and
son sat directly in front of me and, as son leaned into Dad throughout the
presentation, Dad would occasionally kiss his head. It was the sweetest thing I’ve seen in a
while. Two days later, I ended up in a
conversation with him and another mom at Field
Day and learned a breathtakingly different side to this divorce.
There are A LOT of divorced (and blended) families in our
district. There just are. Is it any different anywhere else? In our old town, I felt like the only person
in a divorced situation. It seems nearly
everyone I meet here either is, or knows several others who are.
There are many more Type 1 diabetics in
our area than I knew. There are a few in the middle school that I
know of, and I know there were a couple in high school (including one with an
alert dog), though I believe Ava might be the only one in the elementary school
presently. But her teacher’s husband is
a Type 1, and one of her classmates has an older sister that is too. Another of her classmates, whose mom I was
chatting with on Field Day – her dad is a Type 1. There is also a teacher in the 5th
grade –more than likely will be Ava’s – who is type 1 and pumping.
You cannot judge a book by its cover.
By that I mean it’s terribly easy when you’re the newbie, and having
nothing else to go on, to look around at the parents on field trips and try to
figure out who you want to talk to based solely on how approachable and
friendly they seem. I’ve had great times
on the field trips in the past with moms I was simply “stuck with,” and so you
could say I got lucky. On the Annapolis
trip we had a much larger group of parents attending and it was a walking tour,
so there wasn’t a whole lot of conversation.
I looked to Ava’s cheer friend’s mom, and she didn’t seem very
approachable to me, so I left it alone.
This is the same mom I spent half a day chatting with on Field Day, all
because I initiated conversation with her.
She was very friendly, and I enjoyed chatting with her. She and the divorcee dad knew each other and
so were engaged in conversation about a number of people and things I knew
nothing of, but still – both of them included me in their conversation.
My emotions are still unpredictable. I was worried I’d cry at the Heroes Tea, where my daughter named me
as her hero and stood in front of her class and all of their heroes and
explained why. But I didn’t. Instead, I cried when her bestie cried because
her dad, who was running late, finally arrived.
And cried some more when it was her turn to present and she was still
upset and couldn’t speak without crying.
Thankfully, I wasn’t the only one in there wiping their eyes. Meanwhile, I was absolutely sure I was going
to cry when Owen “graduated” from middle school on Friday. But I didn’t.
Or, at least not until the Principal got up there for the closing
statements and he started choking up
over saying goodbye to this “amazing group of young men and women” who he would
miss. Suddenly, it was like being at a
funeral for a stranger and catching the contagion of someone else’s grief – and
you find yourself raking through the contents of an obscenely packed handbag
for just one tissue.
Apparently, I’m old. Tearful
Mom on the other side of the room sat with us afterward for the reception, and
she was saying how she feels old. Her
daughter said, you’re not old – you’re
only 27. I almost spit out my
buttercream-iced cake. I smiled at her
as she rolled her eyes and resisted the urge to ask her if she really was
27. Because IF she was, I would’ve had
to punch her in the throat. Either that or blurt out, what am I then – grandma?? Do ya’ll realize I am almost TWENTY years
older than her?
Daddy has a new girlfriend. Okay,
so I didn’t “just” learn this last week.
Usually when he’s single, he wants every last waking minute with the
kids that he can get. But several weeks
ago he suddenly wasn’t able to see the kids one Saturday I worked because he
“had to work.” And he’s has turned down
every subsequent date I’ve offered him to spend extra time with them. He went on a business trip to Boston where he
had to tour some factory – are you ready for this? – on Memorial Day. I cry
foul. What factory do you know that’s
open for touring on a national holiday? Then I was picking the kids up one day
and he called me in a panic because she
was picking him up in mere minutes, and the kids had no idea she even existed
yet (he was waiting until he thought the time was right – ha!) Poor planning does not constitute an
emergency on my part. Apparently the
time was right the following weekend, because her car was parked outside when I
arrived to pick them up. Hardly a shock,
I know.
My dog is a killer. Sure,
she looks like a sweet poodle, but inside is a wolf disguised in goofy brown
fluff. I let the dogs out one blazing
and humid afternoon and fully expected them to do their business and return
quickly. When they didn’t, I got
suspicious and went to the window where I saw Sabra lying in the grass under a
tree. I thought, how cute – she’s just
chillin. Wrong. She bent her head down and I saw that she was
chewing on something. Pi was nearby minding her own business. When I went outside, Sabra ran toward me –
all excited – and then remembered her treasure and ran back to get it. I ran after her and screamed NO! though at this point I had no idea what it
was. It looked like a square brown piece
of cardboard? No, it was a TURTLE. And the bitch ran up to me all proud of
herself and rubbed her bloody muzzle on my white shorts. Her front legs were coated with blood.
I can walk the equivalent of 8 miles on a
double shift. Super cool app on my phone measures your
steps each day, and on my first double shift in 20 years I walked over 15,000
steps. You gotta try this! I’d like to
see that 27-year-old momma beat that.
The arrival of summer has me feeling
schizophrenic. We are 3 days in, and I am alternately
happy and anxious. I look forward to
lazy sleep-in days, swimming in the pool, and spending time with the kids. However, I’m spending a LOT of time with my
mini-me and she accompanied me to work this past weekend, two and a half hours
round trip in the car and she didn’t stop talking. My nerves were so shot by the time I pulled
back into our driveway, I went straight to the liquor cabinet and called it a
day. Seriously, I experienced such a
range of emotions on those drives that I’m still recovering from the whiplash
this morning.
Personality matters. This
could be aptly named, You Cannot Judge a Book By Its Cover Part 2. My daughter recently confided in me who her
newest crush is, and she prefaced it by saying “he’s not, like, the cutest boy
in class” but he’s really nice and he makes her laugh. She’s paying attention to that stuff! How
cool is that?? Yesterday when we stopped
at Wawa on the way home, I kind of complained that I didn’t really want to stop
because I’m still in my sweaty work clothes and my makeup is a runny mess – and
Ava says, you look beautiful, mom. And followed it up with a verbatim regurg of
my own words: Nobody is perfect –
everyone is different and that’s why we’re all beautiful.
Those are the
moments where I remember to appreciate the life I have fought for, and continue
to fight for the life I want.
Miscellaneous Tidbits
There are 63
days until the first day of school. Or,
63 drinking days left until school starts again.
The highest
temperature on record is 134 degrees, in Death Valley on July 10th,
2013.
1.25 million
Americans have T1 diabetes – an estimated 200,000 are children under age
20. Roughly 40,000 are diagnosed each
year. Comparatively, 2.2 million
Americans suffer from schizophrenia.
I was right
about my kids’ toilet. I kept telling
Todd I thought one of theprevious tenant’s kids flushed something they shouldn’t have,
and that’s why the toilet kept clogging.
Finally, he took it apart and guess what? A TOY TIARA. Snap.
Diamondback
terrapins are Maryland’s official state reptile. I determined that the turtle
Sabra ate, however, is a Painted Turtle (a pond turtle).
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